Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Lately... (Part I)

As I mentioned in my last post, there have been some things pulling and my heart lately that have made being happy not the easiest.  Both Jeff and I have felt like we are not where we are supposed to be at this point in our lives.  Some situations have made us feel like we are the ones left behind and that we are not doing and or living in the place we should be.  One of the struggles for me lately has been my position at my job. 

When I first started my job in July of 2010 I felt like I was making a great decision.  I would have health insurace, set hours (that didn't include nights), a little of a pay increase, and do something that challenged me.  So here I am now, I have been working this job for over a year and a half and I feel lost.  Lost not in a sense of not know what is going on, but lost in a sense that it is not the job I expected.   I work 8-5 with my commute it is really 7:15-5:50, so I am away a lot.  In addition to that I have taken on a lot of responsiblity at my position, but I feel like I am not using my skills.  I love interacting with people, helping people, and being appreciated. Who doesn't like being appreciated?  I went from working at the gym with lots of support to working in an office with 4 staff members.  It's fine, except when I have customers come in and refer to my office at the morgue it reminds me that I am typically the only one in the office.  I feel like I have little human interaction throughout the day.  It is hard knowing that I have reached the top of where I am going in this position.  And so the search has begun...yet again.....

Another area that I have felt recently is that I am not in the place where I should be.  We live in a small farming community.  I grew up in a town just like this, but it was different.  We both know that there is no opportunity for us where we live.  Our state is in major debt, we don't have any employment potential in the areas surrounding us, and we have felt out of place in our town.  A move has become a very real possibility for us.  We don't know where we will be going but at this point it almost seems eminent.  I had been contemplating this for awhile, but had a dream the other night we put our house on the market.  Normally, I would expect that the be a sad dream, but I was so happy.  I almost had a sense of security knowing that it is what we should do.  We should bite the bullet and look elsewhere for employment.  I am not one to say God let me know what was the right thing to do, but honestly I think that dream was a sign.

To be continued......

Like a sign I've seen. "Home is where my husband is"