Dreams...

Most people can figure out there life dreams while they are little.  Many have something they want to do when they are older, love doing that job, find a location that suits them well, have a few great friends, etc.

For me all of my life I wanted to be a nurse.  So off to college I went, I got accepted to nursing school, went 2 semesters- hated the teaching staff and the clinicals we had to do!  I did an internship after that year and really found out that I don't think nursing was what I was supposed to do.  So I went to community college to figure out my life.  Well that figuring lead me to business school.  I completed a 2 1/2 year program in a little over a year, while working full-time.  I worked at a gymnastics facility and at the time thought I needed something different.  Looking back- I loved the people I worked with, loved having all of the interaction with the kids, and loved the freedom and responsiblity of the job.  After working at the gym I entered "Semi-corporate" world as I refer to it.  I am a desk monkey for 8 hours a day, except for one week where I never sit behind a desk.  During that week I work 100+ hours in 7 days outside in the heat.  Before working this job, I thought I would love what I was going to do- little did I know that it would be something that made me very unhappy.

Looking forward some things I have realized:

• I love working with kids, always have, probably always will
• I need interaction with people- not just someone on the telephone
• I am not a person to sit and have nothing to do
• Commuting sucks!  (think 45 minutes each way)
• I love being able to go outside and get a little refresher and not sit in an office all day
• Doing what you truely love is good for the soul

Now I have no idea how I will do all of these things and still pay my student loans and have money to live on, but ideally there is a career out there for me.  Does involve me going back to school at somepoint? Maybe, but not necessarily.  Would I love to figure all of this out and have a grand master plan- heck yes- I'm a total planner!

For now, I deal with my job and dream of someday loving what I do and not lying about how my jobs is.

Until then....lets all wish we were here:

http://couples.com/negril/

We spent 5 days there and would go back in a heartbeat :)

Struggle

Lately, I have felt that I am at a place in my life that I struggle to fit in.  I say this for a variety of reasons including work, family, location, and many more.  I feel like I struggle to fit in at work because I hate being tied down to my desk everyday.  With only a few people in our small office, I feel like I sit at my desk all day, answer phones, file papers, and do menial work.  Granted I have days that involve never sitting at my desk, but I just don't feel that I fit in.  I want to be challeneged by my job and am basically rarely challeneged now.  I've contemplated started as a direct-sales rep for a company such as thirty-one or pampered chef.  I would work to fulfill my goals and dreams and not just the wants and wishes of my employer.

I feel that the hubs and I struggle to fit in with our families too.  We married relatively young, and moved into a home that hubs had bought 2 years prior.  We both work decent jobs, are trying to remodel, save money, and pay my student loans.  We live in his hometown, an hour from mine.  My parents frequently tell me they've been my brothers or been to their houses but rarely visit us.  I'm the odd ball in my family because we are the only ones without a child/children.  Hubs family just rarely acknowledges we are around.  I'm the only one with student loans in the family- I was told we'll help you pay them back after school-never got any help thanks.  His family is a farming family that owns a decent amount of land and a small business.  Hubs would love to help with the family farm, but when he offers he's shunned with the "we've got enough help."  What did we do to deserve this really?  We work a lot, try and spend time with friends, and still get our own goals met.

We've contemplated if where we live is where we really want to be.  Is there more opportunity somewhere else that we would love, would we be happier there?  So many options that WE need to figure out.

I've decided that I made myself a list of things that are frustrating to me and/or goals I want to surpass in the near future.  Does anyone else have one of these or feel like you are stuck in your current situation?   Any advice is appreciated.....